“Friend” Issues

Have you ever made a Facebook (FB) “friend request” to someone you know quite well,  have many mutual friends in common with and that went unanswered?  This has happened to me.  I know, its time that I let it go.

Have you ever decided to “unfriend” someone or has someone “unfriended” you?  Both have happened to me.  I accepted a “friend request” from a “friend of a friend”.  I had never met the woman but we had many “mutual friends” in common.  The woman’s comments kept showing up in my “In Box” and after a few months of her daily comments about her child’s health, I started to wonder why am I reading this?  She seemed to have a lot of “friends” so I doubt that she ever noticed that I deleted her as one of my FB friends.  I also have a friend who has “defriended” me twice.  The last time it happened she said that Facebook deleted all her friends with whom she wasn’t active and would I be her “friend” again.

And what about those “friend seekers”?  I have one friend who has more than 2500 friends on Facebook.  She has “friended” many of my friends whom she has never met before, they have no mutual friends and they are not public figures.  When I receive friend requests I now have to think, do I know this person and do I need to be online friends with them – and if so, should I only keep them as an “acquaintance”?  I know as I write this I do have to admit that I am “friends” with Barack Obama and I did send author Clay Shirky a friend request today (we do share one mutual friend).

On the plus side, I do like it when I scroll over a Facebook friend’s name to discover that we have a friend in common, especially when it is a bit of an unlikely connection including one across the globe. I do have to admit that there are more happy Facebook moments than sad ones.  I enjoy reading posts, looking at photos and in general keeping up with family friends.  It helps me feel more engaged in their lives.  So despite the friend issues (they are few and far between), I will keep using Facebook.  However, I have recently got into using Twitter and I am having fun with it.  As a result, my Facebook use has declined.  Sorry, Facebook.  Hello, Twitter!

(Please leave a comment – especially if you are not in my Comm 506 class – I would love to hear from you and to hear about your experiences with social media)

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About Ava K

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This entry was posted in Comm506, MACT, mact2013, mastersstudent, socialmedia, socialnetworks, universityofalberta and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to “Friend” Issues

  1. Rebecca M says:

    Great post. If only FB was somehow not a very large high school with an unwieldy number of cliques… I use it mostly to get information from groups and my feed contains far more blogs, news articles and position statements than updates about everyone’s children. I have limited friends and only friend people with whom I would share the same info in real life. I do not like when my private information is inadvertently exposed (tagging our address in our visitors’ photos) and (if I’ve done it right) only a few people can access my private info. I love seeing pics that I otherwise would never see and hearing about events in the lives of those who are close to me.

    • Ava K says:

      Hey Rebecca – thanks for reading my blog, I appreciate it. Now you know more about what I am up to in my studies. Your work is a lot more public than mine and I share many of your thoughts about FB.

  2. How do you see your use of FB vs. Twitter? I try to keep Twitter a bit more hard news/immediate than FB but there are leaks in both directions.

  3. Ava K says:

    David, thanks for reading my blog, much appreciated! Twitter seems to be faster and more immediate. I use it to share information and try to lighten up occasionally and have a bit of fun. many of my FB friends are also people I connect with on LinkedIn and Twitter so I have to be careful and try to have a different presence on each.

  4. Enjoyed your post, Ava. Certainly issues that any Facebook user has come across. I wholeheartedly agree with your comment about varying your posts between platforms, what works for FB won’t always work for Twitter, etc. Twitter is a very ‘instant’ medium, which allows instant access, conversations and news/info sharing…I love it and find it very different than FB and much more engaging and open.

  5. Lisa says:

    Great entry Ava, thanks for the chuckle! I would say more but have to run as I have more friends to seek and maybe a few to defriend!

  6. Diane Laverty says:

    Thanks Ava – great question. I’m writing about this very dilemma in my paper. I find each “friend” request like this makes me censure myself just a little bit more and just a little more “unfriendly”.

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